Walk on air

Somehow I find it really hilarious that he already has a seemingly 'new crush'. It's all just so stupid its so fun, really. I mean come on its been what, a week at most or something. Thoug I knew this would be the case. It always is. I just wish he would stop hurting so many people because he is starving for love and attention :/ emotional pain scars people like nothing else. Pfffftt.

Anyway I think I've finally found out what to do with myself, like how I feel most comfortable gender wise. It's probably just something to make myself feel better, but I've adapted the term gender queer or gender fluid. Like I'm not really either and I dress walk and talk like I want to, but I prefer the male pronouns. Lately I've been feeling like trans just doesn't fit on me as a term and also I don't really want to be stuffed in there because it's almost forbidden to be feminine when you're trans. I jut feel like the term gender fluid makes me feel more at home with myself. So that's great! Also lately I've been feeling a lot better, I've been smiling outside of my job and I've caught myself thinking that things are good. I don't have a lover and I barely have any money, my parents literally hates me, but things are ok for a change?? I just feel like things are finally going to be ok even if I'm alone in it, I still have friends and I'm going to make it in the end. I guess you could say I'm actually somewhere near glad?? It's a brilliant feeling uvu

Of courset there are days when everything is shit and I don't feel like continuing anything, but then I just Idek tell myself I'm better than being sad all the time. I don't really believe when people say I'm good looking or nice and sweet because I don't think I'm particularly nice to anyone, or sweet, or good looking, but something always makes me get up in the morning and even if I don't know what that is, I'm glad it's there. It's not a living hell any more!

I'm considering just making my other blog like a regular blog where I post snaps and stuff, but I don't know. People follow it for the sole reason of fashion, and I don't want to suddenly post something I said I wouldnt?

But I'll leave that to some other time, I'm heading off to bed uvu