distancing yourself

It's difficult. Trying to care when you're in need of care yourself. Trying to take the first step and hold out a hand when you're having a hard time just standing. Trying to pull someone up when your legs are shaking.

I'm not good with these situations. I don't know what to do, I tense up and remain silent, even though I see the pain in their eyes, hear the sadness behind their cheery words and feel the sorrow radiating from them. I've never been good with humans, I can't tell when they're happy from when they're sad, and if they hint me it's most likely to pass right over my head.
But when I get the feel that something is wrong, I don't know the feeling just stick. Things start clearing up somehow. I guess that's whats going on.
He's feeling so down and is so depressed about how things turned out, and I just can't do a thing. When I most want to run up to him and hug him, tell him things are going to be fine and all that, I just can't. And I find that I'm distancing myself more and more.

I'm not the first to send a text saying what's up, are you sad? I'm not the first to jump on a train and not give a fuck about anything else. And I feel bad for that, because I think people get the wrong impression of me. Truth is, I'm just.. not good at being comforting. And when things are so bad I don't even know what to say, then well... I can't say anything.

Clamped up.

I'm tired of feeling useless like this, I feel like I'm not good for anything or anyone. I mean, I can't even comfort those I care about!

Hopeless.

Helpless.