Fresh out of your teens, growing right up
Don't know what it means, but you're in love
Feels like you're lost in a deep cloud, again
Time's only a game
Both of your hearts sing the refrain
You know you're a prisoner of hope
---
I know I should probably be more upset about everything right now, since I have just lost two persons I love a lot and I have a lot of trouble with my family.
But it doesn't really bother me.
In fact, I'm feeling pretty good. I don't think about the darker aspects of my life anymore, and I can thank a special someone for that. It's a weird feeling, he's constantly in my thoughts and it makes me smile. I find myself daydreaming more often, sighing with a smile on my lips. I don't care about my family that much, there just there. I long for the day I'll be out of here, even though I know it wont be just yet. But I'm looking forward to it. It's in the horizon. I can barely make it out, but it's there. It's coming closer. Slowly, but steadily.
I can't say what the future will bring. If I'll eventually end up with him or if he'll get fed up with me faster than the others. We will see, but for now, I want to enjoy this feeling. I haven't truly felt like this for a long time. I guess, I've sort of avoided it. I've only been with people for the comfort, the safety I could feel with them. I've denied any possible feelings.
I'm just here because I need someone, anyone. It's not like that anymore.
I could see myself with him, but still, I know life isn't that easy. I want things to be okay, I want everything to work out in the end to our favor, but I can't be sure it will. I lack a backbone. And sometimes, things are just too hard. I run away. Hide. I want to be a stronger person, I really do, but can I? Probably not.. Not yet at least.
I'll be there. Someday, but not today. Not tomorrow and probably not in the nearest future. But I'll make it. I will be happy and things will be well.
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